![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Well hello there dreamwidth. I never use you, but I should probably start haha. I haven't done any active blogging in forever, so this will be more of a list format than a proper blog. Whatever a proper blog is lol.
So I took a social anxiety test this evening. And surprising no one, I apparently have severe social phobia. A score of 95 or higher is severe, and I got a 135 lol lol lol.
/huddles in a corner oh god my brain is so messed up
So I actually have to work in six hours and I should be sleeping, but then this fanfic that's been eating at my brain since last summer spat another scene at me as I was starting to fall asleep. I was afraid I'd lose it, so I decided I'd just type it up.
And that's how Liz wrote 1000 words in 20 minutes. I apparently need to write Hikaru no Go fic when I'm desperately trying to sleep so I don't grouch at people at work.
Sigh.
Snowpocalypse 2012 in Washington is hopefully over since it's raining and getting rid of the snow, but apparently round two is scheduled for this weekend? Whatever, I just hope they don't close down the Tacoma Narrows bridge again because that's my only path to civilization.
Well, not -only-, but who wants to drive an extra 50 miles to go the long way when it's only 10 miles across the bridge. Not me, that's who.
I really need to sleep so I'll end this here before I have a chance to ramble about more fanfic. Hikaru no Go, what are you doing to me.
Just wait until I rewatch Kyou Kara Maou and Prince of Tennis sigh SIGH
So I took a social anxiety test this evening. And surprising no one, I apparently have severe social phobia. A score of 95 or higher is severe, and I got a 135 lol lol lol.
/huddles in a corner oh god my brain is so messed up
So I actually have to work in six hours and I should be sleeping, but then this fanfic that's been eating at my brain since last summer spat another scene at me as I was starting to fall asleep. I was afraid I'd lose it, so I decided I'd just type it up.
And that's how Liz wrote 1000 words in 20 minutes. I apparently need to write Hikaru no Go fic when I'm desperately trying to sleep so I don't grouch at people at work.
Sigh.
Snowpocalypse 2012 in Washington is hopefully over since it's raining and getting rid of the snow, but apparently round two is scheduled for this weekend? Whatever, I just hope they don't close down the Tacoma Narrows bridge again because that's my only path to civilization.
Well, not -only-, but who wants to drive an extra 50 miles to go the long way when it's only 10 miles across the bridge. Not me, that's who.
I really need to sleep so I'll end this here before I have a chance to ramble about more fanfic. Hikaru no Go, what are you doing to me.
Just wait until I rewatch Kyou Kara Maou and Prince of Tennis sigh SIGH
From:
no subject
I also wrote some Hikago a little bit ago, but it'll totally give me away for BG, so I have to sit on a perfectly good fic for months. >.
From:
no subject
If I can get it done, what I wrote'll be part of my BG fic, but we'll see how that goes. It was supposed to be my BG fic the last round, but I kind of procrastinated so badly that I ended up writing an alternate one an hour and a half before the deadline lol
From:
no subject
And thanks! I didn't even know you knew who I was before the other day, haha. I'm always surprised to find people actually read what I write. XD
It'll be a lot of fun this round - I'm curious if people will find me! It's not my usual fare! :D SO EXCITED FOR BG AT ALL TIMES. :D
From:
no subject
I always go into these fic challenges saying "OKAY THIS TIME I SERIOUSLY AM GOING TO NOT PROCRASTINATE AND THE FIC WILL BE LONGER THAN 1000 WORDS (because I also have a problem with brevity and there being too much of it). And then I always end up writing in the last 6-2 hours before. So much private flailing was done for BG XDD
I AM EXCITED FOR BG AS WELL. I even have the whole comm stalkerpinned so I don't miss an entry. I just need someone to crack a whip over me so that I actually get this fic done. It's going to be long, I hope, but that also means there's more opportunity for me to ADD away from it like I did when I started it last summer.
From:
no subject
I WILL CHEERLEAD FOR YOU! <3 I'm good at cheerleading. XDDD (Except in real life. You'd never catch me dead in an outfit like that. X.x I'm more of an awkward flailer... XDDD)
There's supposed to be a Valentine's Day mini-round, too! So much awesome BG~!
From:
no subject
Yay cheerleader! ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ You are the best!
MINI ROUND SUPER EXCITED EEEEE
/awkward excitement oh god i am such a dork
From:
no subject
I -think- I know what the theme is - I asked Pye (blue_cage) if they would take suggestions, so it MIGHT be my suggestion, which you could make most things fit, so I'm hoping it gets approved because seriously, this fic, ZOMG, it HAS to be for BG. HAS TO. WAH. But but Pye says I CAN'T TELL ANYONE. Ahaha. Ver is working on a BG hopeful fic that she's going to make fit whatever the theme is, too. Which is crazy - both me and Ver ALWAYS write at the last minute, and suddenly we're both working on our fics two months before even the sign-ups are posted. XDDD
Though I might need all that time, since I have another fic idea in mind that says maybe it would like to be in for BG, too... XDDDD WE'LL SEE. OH GOD, I STILL HAVE LIKE 40K OR SOMETHING TO WRITE ON MY GUNDAM WING FIC BEFORE THE END OF MAY. ZOMG. *DIES*
Why do I always sign up for everything?!
From:
no subject
I need to sign up for MORE. I haven't written proper fic since... idk, 2008 maybe? And even that isn't technically proper fic, it's kink meme fic for Phoenix Wright. So I'm trying to ease myself back into the swing of things.
IT'S JUST TOO BAD I KNOW NEXT TO NOTHING ABOUT GO STRATEGY ugh I need to find a class or something so I can sound less like I'm BSing the game aspect of the story.
Where is my Go pro to supervise me, huh? Yumi Hotta, you need to lend me yours, like, now.
From:
no subject
:DDDDDD
Making stuff up totally works, too. XD
If you ever want prompts... I'm just sayin', I could oblige.
I've had some seriously long fic breaks myself, and I want that to stop, because writing is huzzah, and I love my Go boys more than any of my other ships, so they get a disproportionate amount of fic love~!
*Points at icon* We can fic together~! 99% of my fic, someone inspires somehow, even if they don't realize they're doing it, ahaha.
OH OH if you have messengers, I have like, 90% of the messengers that have ever existed, ahaha. I'm sure there's one we share, if you use them. =P Then I can really squee at you about fic ALL THE TIME. XDDDD
From:
no subject
run on sentences are fun
Prompts are awesome, because premises and I don't usually meet like normal people; in bars or dark alleys. I have to be set up on blind dates with premises.
that was a terrible metaphor
MESSENGERS YES. I have AIM and Yahoo, and I am also a texting fiend if you have unlimited texting and are not afraid of a random internet stranger knowing your phone number lol
oh my i am so forward
I'm not actually on any of my messengers now, though, since I'm technically at work (THOUGH I WORK FROM HOME WOO). I mean... well, actually I probably am logged in, but I will not answer since my netbook is across the room and my work computer only has the interoffice messenger on it
i am rambling now i think i will stop you are too kind to humor me lol lol lol
see about the run on sentences again
i swear i am not usually like this i am just sleep deprived and low bloodsugary
bloodsugary is that a word
it is now
i would not blame you if you decided i was too strange to converse with now
capitalization what is that
Seriously though, you are awesome (:
From:
no subject
I will give you my phone number but not right here, ahahaha. <3
Bwahahaha ILU.
OKAY OKAY, I WANTS AKIHIKA, AS ALWAYS, WITH A PROMPT OF... OF... UH... "Better than Go" :DDDDDD
OKAY NOW I HAVE TO PAY ATTENTION IN CLASS, OMG.
From:
LOOK AT THIS FIC I JUST WROTE FOR YOU OMG
Picking up the new copy of Shounen Jump to see that his favorite manga had extra color pages definitely wasn't better than Go, but it was pretty good. Especially when it was a chapter with a lot of action, but not too much. He liked to see fights and explosions in his manga, but as he got older, he found himself wanting to see where the stories went, as well.
When the newest installment of his favorite video game came out, Hikaru was excited. His Go studies suffered a little, but not enough that anyone would notice anything. In the middle of the game, he ended up abandoning it, because he missed the hours he spent replaying games he'd had with Sai on the goban in his room. The old playstation had more dust on it than his goban ever had, but he'd felt like he was cheating on Sai by not studying. Games were definitely not better than Go, not any more.
Sometimes, Hikaru went out running. Being a Go player meant that he was sitting a lot of the time. Even though he walked everywhere he went, he still had a lot of pent up energy that he had to expend somehow, otherwise he got antsy and irritable. The first twelve years of his life had been quite active, and making the switch to a more sedate lifestyle had been a little tough on him. He liked how he felt after he'd been running; tired, a little giddy, and completely relaxed. Running wasn't better than Go, but it was pretty close.
Going to Akari's high school to play shidougo with the club she had formed was technically Go-related. But half the time it was just a bunch of kids who liked the same game hanging out. Sometimes they played, sometimes they didn't. Hikaru liked having a chance to hang out with kids his own age and not have the conversation derail into the latest matchups in the Honinbo tournament.
Hanging out with Waya didn't count, since Waya practically ate drank and breathed Go. (Hikaru thought he would marry Go if it were a possibility, except he had a pretty good idea that Waya had a huge crush on Morishita-sensei's daughter. Or Isumi. Some days he couldn't tell, and he really didn't want to ask. Getting involved in something like that had the potential to get messy, and Hikaru didn't need to be in the middle of some middle-school "do you like me check one yes no" fumblings at romance)
Touya didn't count, because... he was Touya. Touya was obviously synonymous with Go.
Except for the times he wasn't, of course.
--------------
"Hey Touya," Hikaru had asked one day while they played a game in Touya's bedroom. His rival's parents were away in China, and neither had felt like playing in public that day. It wasn't often that they got to actually play alone, they were nearly always surrounded by people. It was a little intimate being able to play without the murmur of other voices around them, or the echo of Go stones being placed on other boards.
"Hmmm?" Touya had asked idly as he surveyed the board, waiting for Hikaru to take his turn.
"Is it okay if I call you Akira?" Hikaru didn't know why, but he felt like calling his eternal rival was too formal. He figured if they were going to be playing Go together for the rest of their lives, then they may as well be on a first name basis.
Akira's eyes slid from the board to Hikaru's face, and Hikaru felt himself coloring slightly at the scrutiny. "I... suppose that would be acceptable."
"Okay, awesome." Hikaru let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding, and flashed a grin at Touya-- no, Akira.
"What brought that on?" Akira asked, his voice sounding force, overly-bright.
"What brought what on?" Hikaru asked, placing a stone then stretching his arms above his head.
"Asking if you could call me by my name."
"Oh, I just thought that it would be nice to be a little less formal with each other. I mean we spend a lot of time together these days, right? We're... friends?" Hikaru's eyes widened a little at the questioning tone in his own voice. He considered them friends, but what if it was just him?
"Yes," Akira answered after a long pause. "Yes, we're friends." His voice held a note of wonder, as if he hadn't realized it until that very moment. "But, well..." He trailed off, then shook his head. "Never mind." Placing a stone, he clamped his lips shut and stared at the board.
Hikaru knew better than to question him at moments like those. They had been coming more and more frequently recently, and nothing he said would make his rival-turned-friend talk when he held himself in such a rigid posture. With a heavy sigh, he made a move and the game continued.
Exactly fifteen hands later, on Akira's turn, Hikaru's rival's hand stopped over the board mid-move. Hikaru glanced at Akira's face curiously, his eyebrows raising at the redness he found there.
"I think I'm in love with you," Akira blurted out, the stone held between his fingers slipping from his grasp to clatter onto the board, pushing four stones from their places. His hand was trembling, the same tremble that Hikaru could remember so clearly from the time they played each other in the middle school Go tournament, but from a different reason.
Hikaru's head went blank, and all he could manage was a faint, "Oh." Rolling the thought around his head, the fact that his rival-turned-friend was confessing to him seemed like something out of a shoujo manga, and not something that happened in real life. He wondered if he was dreaming, and he would wake up in his bed when his alarm went off.
No waking happened, though, and the warmth that spread through him as the knowledge sunk in didn't surprise him as much as he thought it would. He was happy that his rival liked him as more than a friend. he couldn't think of anyone else that he would want to confess to him like this.
(He could think of other people that might, but even just the thought of it was awkward to him, whereas this was just... nice.)
"Oh," he repeated again, glancing up from his hands where his gaze had rested as he sorted out his feelings to find Akira staring at him trepeditiously. He was glad his rival hadn't run away when he hadn't received an answer immediately. He had to give it to Akira, when he decided to do something, he saw it through to the end. Taking a deep breath, Hikaru offered him a smile.
"I think I've loved you this whole time. Is that weird?"
Blinking, Akira stared at him for a few seconds, before shaking his head. His long hair brushed over his red cheeks, and Hikaru wanted to reach over and move it out of the way, to feel the individual strands and test their softness between his fingertips.
"What? Weird? Why would that be any weirder than me confessing to you?"
"Oh, okay then. Just checking."
"Shindou, you are so--"
"You can call me Hikaru, you know. Since you said I could call you Akira and all," Hikaru interrupted, his own cheeks giving in to the urge to blush. "It's only fair, right?"
"Hikaru..." Akira sounded as though he was testing the name on his tongue, as if savoring a fine wine. "Hikaru."
"Yeah?" The blush didn't diminish, but it was accompanied by a goofy grin.
"Nothing. I just... this is kind of surreal."
"Yeah. But I like it." Allowing himself a moment of sentimentality, Hikaru reached over and tucked a strand of hair behind Akira's ear. His hair was just as soft as he thought it would be, and he could see that the blush had definitely reached the tips of his rival's (no, friend's) (no, lover's... but perhaps that was rushing things a bit) ears.
Hikaru knew Touya -- Akira -- would agree with him that there was nothing better than Go. And he hoped that he would also agree that this came pretty damn close.
From:
Re: LOOK AT THIS FIC I JUST WROTE FOR YOU OMG
<333333 This is sooooo them, everything for them revolves around Go, and of course they confess over a Go board, because where else would they be?
ILU! <3333333
From:
no subject
Also apologies if there are spelling errors or something doesn't make sense, I kind of just wrote it and posted it without reading it over lol
From:
no subject
From:
no subject
HAHA YAY SECOND EVER HIKAGO FIC WOO!!
I'm super glad you like it!!
From:
no subject
From:
no subject
hahaha seriously though thanks. It's nice being able to flail with someone about fandom ♥
From:
no subject
From:
no subject